Your Blueprint: The Lens That Shapes Experience

Sympathy & Antipathy in Couple Therapy

Shame: The Emotion That Makes Relationships Grow

Meaning: Remembering Efran, Lukens & Lukens

Competing Realities: Remembering Ernst von Glasersfeld

The Battle of Structure in Couple Therapy: Remembering Carl Whitaker

Fight Club: Ground Rules in Starting Couple Therapy

Too Cold, Nothing Changes — Too Hot, Everything Escalates

Circularity: Why Linear Thinking Keeps Couples Stuck

Couple Therapy Often Starts Outside the Window of Tolerance

Why Couple Therapy Isn’t Client-Led

Why Couple Therapy Fails Without Shame

What is Therapy?

Why Neutrality in Couple Therapy Is an Active Balancing Act

The Two Patterns That Erode Sexual Intimacy

Why Couple Therapy Is So Reactive

Blueprint and Caricature: Two Lenses That Shape How We Relate

Definitional Privilege: Relationship Drifts Toward One Dominant Reality

Affairs and Couple Therapy: Why They Are Mutually Exclusive

Couple Therapy Isn’t Just Another Approach — It’s a Different Discipline

When a Child Is Born, So Is a New Relationship

Caricature: When We Stop Seeing Each Other

Couple Therapy and Nervous System Regulation

The Problem with Therapy-Language in Relationships

Repair: The Holy Grail of Couple Therapy?

The Caricature: Why You’re Not Speaking To Your Partner

Interaction, Not Individual: Remembering Bradford Keeney

Why I Do Couple Therapy: Gardening, Growing and Scratches

Irreverence: Remembering Gianfranco Cecchin

Growth from Crisis: Remembering Ilya Prigogine

Conversation = Intimacy

12 Steps & Couple Therapy: Remembering Gregory Bateson

Why Trust Cannot Be Rebuilt After Infidelity

Lose the King, Lose the Game: Why Couple Therapy Fails

Not All Emotions Are Equal: How Emotions Shape Conversations

Why Intention Does Not Drive Relational Change

Between-Session Work: Where Couple Therapy Actually Happens

Disruption as Intervention in Couple Therapy

December Exposes the Cracks in Relationships

Some (Not All) Reasons to End Couple Therapy

Corrosive Actions: The Behaviours That Break Conversation

Formulation as the Backbone of Therapeutic Direction

Affairs and Impossible Questions: Why Trust Cannot Be Promised

Divergent Conversations: The Problem of Metacommunication

Couple Therapy Without a Relational Formulation… Is Not Couple Therapy

The Quiet Architecture of Definitional Privilege

The Enchanted Forest: On Seduction in Couple Therapy

Couple Therapy and Optimal Intensity

Beyond Holding Space in Couple Therapy

The Dance of Being a Couple Therapist

Drift: Remembering Humberto Maturana

The Beautiful Question: Curiosity in Relationships

The “Real” Issue in Couple Therapy: Remembering Jay Haley

Love: Remembering Humberto Maturana

The State of War: Waiting for Sh*t to Happen

Why Conversations Spiral: Process Commentary

Infidelity: The Trap of Impossible Questions

Couple Therapy Is Not a Corrective Project Aimed at One Partner

The Myth That One Person Should Be Everything

Three Structural Warning Signs in Couple Therapy

Conversational Violence in Intimate Relationships

If the Problem Is Relational, Don’t Start with Individual Therapy

The Myth of Insight in Couple Therapy

The Myth of Unconditional Acceptance in Relationships

Experiential Loops: How Relationships Recreate Themselves in Real Time

Why Couple Therapy Is So Challenging

Affairs in Couple Therapy: Why Repair Requires Two Frames

The Scope of Couple Therapy: To Divorce or Not to Divorce

Conversation: Where Change Actually Happens in Couple Therapy

The Wild West of Couple Therapy

The Paradoxical World of Couple Therapy

Couple Therapy: It’s Not About the Story, but the Pattern

The Function of the Therapist's Theoretical Model