The Structure of Change (List) | SXCT

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The Structure of Change

The following chapters are from The Structure of Change. They were written for clinicians working with couples and relational systems. I use this material as a clinical resource within supervision and training, and it is intended to be engaged with in the context of practice rather than read as theory alone. The focus is on how therapists see, formulate, and intervene in interaction, and on taking ownership of one’s position and actions in the room, particularly in how one engages with the couple in real time. The chapters can be read in any order, but are grouped into sections to support progression and coherence across the work.

Preface

On The Frame

Couple Therapy is a Different Discipline

On The Frame

Three Structural Warning Signs

On The Frame

When Not To Do Individual Therapy

On The Frame

To Divorce or Not to Divorce

On Intensity

Working at the Edge of Tolerance

On Intensity

When Individual Therapy Becomes Necessary

On Systems That Push Back

Neutrality Under Pressure

On Systems That Push Back

The Wild West: Remembering Ricky Snyders

On Perception

"It Means Nothing"

On Relational Structure

Reading the Pattern

On Relational Structure

Experiential Loops

On Interventive Logic

Insight and Intention Do Not Create Change

On Interventive Logic

Pre-Session Engagement as Intervention

On Interventive Logic

Temporal Containment in Intimate Relationships

On Interventive Logic

There Is No Return to What Was

On Specific Interventions

The Structured Progression of Intervention

On Specific Interventions

Initiating Corrective Actions

On Specific Interventions

Repairing Everyday Ruptures

On Conversation

Corrosive Actions

On Conversation

Conversation: Remembering John Wilkes

On the Therapist

Not Everyone Should Do Couple Therapy

On the Therapist

On the Edge: Remembering Maurizio Andolfi

On the Therapist

The Therapist Must Become Unnecessary

On Relationship

Repair: The Holy Grail of Relationships

On Relationship

The Two Patterns That Erode Sexual Intimacy

Closing Remarks

On Change in Couple Therapy

On The Frame

How Long Does Couple Therapy Take?

On The Frame

Couple Therapy Isn't Client-Led

On The Frame

Couple Therapy Is Not Aimed at One Partner

On Intensity

Intensity in Couple Therapy

On Intensity

Not All Emotions are Equal

On Systems That Push Back

Conservation

On Systems That Push Back

Ambivalence: Remembering David Fourie

On Perception

The Formation of the Caricature

On Perception

Definitional Privilege

On Relational Structure

Three Core Interaction Patterns

On Relational Structure

Drift

On Interventive Logic

The Function of the Therapist’s Theoretical Model

On Interventive Logic

Intervention Starts in the First Session

On Interventive Logic

Fight Club: Ground Rules

On Interventive Logic

The Battle of Initiative

On Specific Interventions

Regulating Activation in Interaction

On Specific Interventions

Repairing the Legacy of Injury

On Specific Interventions

Infidelity and the Structure of Repair

On Conversation

Process Commentary and Metacommunication

On the Therapist

The Role of the Couple Therapist

On the Therapist

On Seduction

On the Therapist

The Dance of Being a Couple Therapist

On Relationship

The Relationship Landscape

On Relationship

The Myth of the Happy Relationship

On Relationship

The Seasons of Togetherness

References

On The Frame

What is Therapy?

On The Frame

Initial Conditions for Doing Couple Therapy

On The Frame

It’s Not About the Story, but the Pattern

On The Frame

Lose the King, Lose the Game

On Intensity

The State of War

On Intensity

Why Couple Therapy Fails Without Shame

On Systems That Push Back

Intervention Provokes Response

On Systems That Push Back

The Variability of the Therapeutic Process

On Perception

Competing Realities

On Relational Structure

The Focus is Interaction, Not the Individual

On Relational Structure

Why Linear Thinking Keeps Couples Stuck

On Relational Structure

The "Real" Issue

On Interventive Logic

No Relational Formulation: Not Couple Therapy

On Interventive Logic

The Battle of Structure

On Interventive Logic

Slowing Down Conversation in the Moment

On Interventive Logic

Between-Session Work Is Non-Negotiable

On Specific Interventions

Affirmations

On Specific Interventions

Reintroducing Relational Conversation

On Conversation

Conversation = Intimacy

On Conversation

Conversational Violence

On the Therapist

The Care of the Individual

On the Therapist

Irreverence

On the Therapist

Some Of My Failures

On Relationship

Love

On Relationship

The Myth of Being Everything

On Relationship

The Texture of Us

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